Top 10 of the decade

10: Deftones - White Pony (2000)

9: Animal Collective - Merriweather Post Pavillion (2009)

8: Tom Vek - We Have Sound (2005)

7: The Knife - The Knife (2000)

6: Mastodon - Leviathan (2004)

5: Lost Sounds - Lost Sounds (2004)

4: At The Drive In - Relationship of Command (2000)

3: Saul Williams - Saul Williams (2004)

2: Jay Reatard - Blood Visions (2006)

1: The Knife - Deep Cuts (2003)

Apparently I should update when off my face more often.

THE POWER!!!!!! OF LARDD!!!

Ok, so I am back in Canterbury after Christmas.

I managed to avoid chocolate. (good). I had to watch my fam eat a chocolate cake, that was hard. But I managed to persevere thru.

However. I did eat quite a lot of unlean meats. Turkey. Chicken. Motherfucking gammon. Drenched in pissing cider. Who does that? Jamie Oliver would be gurning his little chops off right nowwww.

Roast power doesn't end at home. In what began a simple trip to the Tesco for some alcobooze ended up in me getting a whole leg of pork for £1.39 LOL and 2 breasts of chicken for something like 69p. (sorry vegetarians!) I will, however, make up for it by eating pasta without meat in it in between.

Tried to play left 4 dead. it was fun, tho I got shitfaced and we couldn't complete the final section. OF THE FIRST LEVEL. HA. Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaail. Bells was cheap, Bells was drunk. Now I am on the left over Rose. It's pretty gross. But then... what Rose isn't? Is Rose a Rose by any other name? Yeah, cos it tastes like old poo.

I got Modern Warfare 2 for Christmas. Can't wait to bust that shiz out and play it til my xbox melts (or til I complete it, whichever comes first).

It's 07:36 am and I am still typing away and swigging wine. I am like an esteemed authour. Minus the books.

And the esteemed bit.

I'm like a student. Or a wastrel. Same difference. I wish I went to college in the US. Apparently the girls there have sense of pity and sleep with anyone and everyone. Ok, so these girls are cum dumpsters - but - I'm quite open minded. I'll wear protection. Make sure I don't touch another guy's sperm with my weiner. I think I know the drill.

ALSO. I can't believe the BEE BEE CEE used Animal Collective (Brother Sport) on their ads. After ignoring them totally for sound of 09 (or any other previous or post year), using them unashamedly to an audience of perhaps 207 who knew what it was... ODD. ODD BALLS. No wonder Terry 'Tezza' Wogan 'Woganator' quit. No wonder Alan Shearer continues to get work.

PPS. I watched Something Something Darkside. A slight upturn in the fortunes of Family Guy. The references to the making of Empire Strikes Back were particularly pleasing though other jokes fell wide of the mark. I stick with the fact that in terms of general episode, Family Guy no longer cuts the mustard. It does not have the mustardess something such as Al Partridge has, that stands the test of time. I may have dismantled my Corby trouser press but at least I'm never going to use these Tungsten tip screws (ad infinitum).

BYE.

Dissertation: over?

At 8:46 this morning I finished my dissertation. I hate the sight of Jamie Lee Curtis, I wanna punch her in the head. I will happily not watch another slasher film for a year.

I have to go to university and hand it in now. That will be fun, won't it? It is going to take me about 2hrs pretty much and then I have enough time to come home and start the next essay and then go to uni again for a seminar 4-6pm. So, quite possibly, 2 all nighters in a row.

Fuck yeah.

Also I drank too many energy drinks and I feel like I have 20 stones in my stomach and my teeth are squishy like jelly babies.

Things to be happy about

1. Two pieces of work down. Now only two encroaching deadlines.
2. Christmas and homeward bound on the 18th.
3. Only one piece of work over the holidays.
4. Linked to 2 and 3, use Christmas as a way to get Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2.
5. Play xbox non-stop for a week what with no work.
6. New Yeasayer album is actually pretty awesome.
7. I watched Zombieland. It was surprisingly good and not rubbish. Reignited my desire to make zombie films.
8. I have a copy of Adobe Premiere running on my laptop.
9. I am able to write an essay on auteuristic features of Dick's novels, most likely going for the folly of consumerism.
10. Ted Leo on the 15th. £5 entry. Lolzords.

What is the worst program?

I think that it is PowerPoint. What a piece of poo it is. I don't know what to write on the slides for this presentation. How does one go about wording the content? A brief summary which then is never enough in ur mind because you need to stipulate the importance of everything - and when discussing perceptions of reality and stylistic devices of a novel which in a sense self-referentially plays with perception PowerPoint really shows its true colours.

The colour of turd. It is a turd. I wish I didn't have to use the stupid thing.

Open invitation

Dear Scarlett Johansson,

Would you like to hang out some time? You're very pretty.

Your musical and acting talents are supreme.

If you would like kisses, do not hesitate to contact me.

Yours,

Garry Vince.

x

The last few days; a brief summary

Today I got shouted out on the radio by the extremely dangerous Charles Meyrick re: the story of how I refused to go into a room of a party because 'everyone was ugly'. The attempt of eloquent delivery on Charles' part was mostly bumbling and interspersed with laughter and that pleased me. I am now known on the radio, Canterbury Student Radio (97.4 I THINK IT WAS I DIDN'T QUITE CATCH IT WITH ALL THOSE JINGLES), that is.

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I read all of Ubik and have had about a thousand ideas for my presentation on said book on Thursday - but each time I sit down with my group to discuss it another 10 ideas on perceptions of reality and metaphors come into my mind. This is practically turning my brain into a mushy pulp - like something out of old-skool Peter Jackson films.

On a New Zealand note, it is extremely nice to hear Jeff Mangum's raspy whines again. Of course I know he's not from NZ, stick with me...

He's made a song as part of the tribute compilation for Chris Knox entitled 'Stroke' after he unfortunately suffered a stroke in the summer of this year. The list of artists who stepped up to pay tribute to Knox is absolutely fantastic. Yo La Tengo, Jay Reatard, Jeff Mangum, Bonnie 'Prince' Billy, Lou Barlow, Mountain Goats and more. It's a testament to a man who is criminally unknown outside of New Zealand.

Listen to samples of the tracks to 'Stroke' here

I cannot wait for the release in February - I will be pre-ordering my copy as soon as I have the money.

Also people should totally check out some of Knox's albums if you can at all. His second band, Toy Love, have a collected works on Spotify

Do it.

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This week I also managed to hail satan by reaching an unholy playcount of Slayer. I can never listen to them again for I may unbalance the axis of evil and Cthulu might come and eat my brains. My mushy mushy brains.

Westie Can Drum

Is it Lincoln's beard?

Then why's he got a horse's body?

Ubik

I am reading it.

It is good.

Career opportunities (the ones that never knock)

Apparently I have now decided to put my fingers in many pies. After Christmas I will actively attempt to make;

Music.
Films.
Animations.
Comics.
Novels.
Web comics (maybe).
Music/Film reviews.
Knitted jumpers.
Photography.
Paintings.
Drawings.

Wish me luck at being able to do any of these. Thx.

Counting Down the Hours

I am raaaaaaaather excited about Ted Leo playing Bramleys in Canterbury on December 15th. This is going to be wayyyy better than the best gigs I've been to in Canterbury so far; we're talking Lightspeed Champion, Elephants, Casio Kids, Sky Larkin, Black Kids in that sort of order I guess.

I may even forgive Bramleys for the time they turned me away because I threw on the first thing which just so happened to be a football shirt.

I am a yobbo.